I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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