And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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