i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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