the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
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Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.