he puts the penis in happiness.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.