I just pynch a tree in the face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.