can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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