i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize