operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize