3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
