worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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