matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize