Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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