In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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