Sry I called you an 8
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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