that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I love you. Go after that dick
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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