her vagine was all disorganized.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
