I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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