i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
