ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
