I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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