i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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