I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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