Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
