Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
