I hate all girls vehemently.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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