Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
