I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
