That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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