the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
