My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
