No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
