is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
