Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my phone needs a breathalizer
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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