We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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