You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
