When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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