now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
