i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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