i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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