im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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