You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
