U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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