Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
