The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
