I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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