I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
