That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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