I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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