names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
