saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
