So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
