just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize