I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
