oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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