Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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