U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
