Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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