I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
