Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
A bitchslap is in order.
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