and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
