Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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