At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize