Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
